Breaking the fourth window
by Shiva's Avatar
Summary: Selfinsertion, Mpreg, Mary Sue … these are but a few words many fan fiction readers rightfully fear … but what happens when they’re all used in one fic? Why, Satire of course.


Breaking the Fourth window

Prologue- Something wicked this way comes

By-Shiva's Avatar

"No, seriously dude, that's GOT to be an omen of some kind," Raimundo said, gesturing to the sky.

"I'm telling you, I've searched through the book of omens TWICE, and according to it, THAT doesn't mean anything special," Dojo responded heatedly, likewise unable to look anywhere but up, annoyed that he was unable to explain or rightly dismiss the obviously paranormal sign.

"I'm sorry partner, but I gatta go with Rai on this one. That … That just ain't normal!" Clay added in, staring in similar awe with Kimiko and Omi at the transformed horizon. Even master Fung stared out of the temple windows with a worried look covering his normally passive face, no Zen like saying offering any comforting wisdom to this scenario.

For the sky had changed. One minute it had been a normal sunny spring day, the next the sun had suddenly eclipsed, plunging the world into darkness. But total darkness did not last long, for pinpoints of light flickered into existence illuminating the darkness. They could have been stars if not for not color. Dot by dot the violet lights appeared, connecting to form a pair of eyes and a Cheshire cat grin. Each of the monks shuddered at that ghastly grin, knowing it was something prophetic, but not knowing exactly what it stood for. So they gazed with confusion up at the heavens, which seemed to be smirk right back at them.

Others besides the xiaolin monks noticed the ominous omen.

Jack Spicer put his lab on double security, all his Jackbots placed on red alert, as he held fast to the monkey staff, desperately wishing he had Wuya beside him to explain this obviously magical event.

The specter turned human, laughed as she saw those eyes, reveling in the chaos she knew was soon to erupt. Beside her, Chase Young was briefly confused by the changed appearance of the sky, but reptilian eyes widened once realization dawned on him.

"Impossible!" he hissed, clenching a fist, Wuya's laughter heightening his anxiety. "We sealed that door! There's no way another one of _them _could slip though and enter this world!"

"Ah, poor poor Chase. Having flashbacks about last time? What was it? A thousand three hundred years ago?" Wuya responded with a chuckle.

"A thousand three hundred and twenty two years … eight months, twenty two days" Chase muttered, turning his full attention to Wuya, the memories to vivid … to maddening to forget. "But how did _they_ enter? We sealed that door … it took our combined might … but we locked it forever!"

"Perhaps something interfered with the enchantments. We all know how … temperamental … magic can be," Wuya said, the tips of her lips twitching. A fact Chase did not fail to notice.

"YOU!" he hissed, grabbing the fabric of her gown and ramming her against the stone door to his mountain top lair. Her smile never faltered, but instead grew wider, spiral irises laughing at the now near frantic champion of evil.

"Ah Chase, it's so good to see that you DO still fear something," she sneered.

"How could you?! Do you have any idea what you've done?!" Chase growled, his form changing back to its reptilian shape. The other questions being rhetorical, he leaned now powerful jaws close to Wuya face, empathizing one last question. The one question he actually wanted to be answered.

"Why?"

The Heylin witch laughed in response. Even as clawed hands moved and tightened their grip on her throat she continued her mocking laughter.

"Why Chase? WHY? Because I'm dreadfully bored, that's why! You've barred me from most of my magic, the xiaolin warriors prevent me from getting shen gong wu … and quite frankly I've grown bored with trying to outwit you all. You know how much change _they _enact … who knows how drastically the world will change this time?"

Chase glanced at the sorceress as though she'd gone mad, but saw instead only a cruel clarity in her eyes. He'd thought he had accounted for every scheme she might make, had kept her close and under his thumb, but in one move she had upset all his perfect planning. It was as though they had been playing chess and in her frustration at losing she had overturned the board and demanded they start anew.

Only this time all the rules had changed. White now worked with black against a single grey king … a king that was nearly impossible to corner and mate. A king that could move anywhere at will, could take any piece on a whim.

"Do you know what you've released?!" Chase roared, no longer trying to hide his rage and fear.

"Of course," Wuya replied. Her smile, if possible, widening, despite the blood leaking from the indentations of Chase's claws.

Their eyes met as Wuya continued, reveling in the victory of cracking Chase's calm facade.

"A fan author".

* * *

Author's notes- 

Niaho all!

:sighs: I'm sorry I've been absent of late … lets just say college was/is seriously owning me (word of advice, never, ever, trust your advisor when they say "oh, Linguistics isn't that hard!"). But I just wanted you all to know that I haven't forgotten/abandoned my works here.

Anyway, this is just another one of my pet projects … hopefully I'll get to update all of them more soon.

-Laters

-Shiva's Avatar-


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